Realization Philly Style
by Quirky Del
Summary: Every path leads back to Jess...eventually.
1. Something or Someone?

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"Rory..." he whispered her name huskily, his hands tangled in her hair.

"Jess, I'm – I'm – I'm – well, I don't know exactly what I am but it's something very, very, very gooood..." she sighed, feeling fuzzily warm in his embrace.

He took a few steps back, pulling her with him, never breaking the kiss. He felt the back of his legs hit the bed and he bent them both down so they were lying together. He pulled away slightly, panting out of breath.

"Is this too soon?" _Say no, say no, say no, it's not too soon!_ He pleaded internally, waiting with baited breath.

"No, not too soon. It's taken too long, actually..." she murmured against his lips.

"I wanted you _so_ bad in high school..." he muttered, hands flying everywhere.

"Mmm, me, too..." she reciprocated.

"I never stopped loving you -" he let the rest hang in the air as his fingers deftly found her fastens.

"I've always loved you -" she said breathlessly through a smile.

"I like to hear that -" he trailed kisses down her neck.

-

"**Ace?**...Rory?"

She woke with a violent start. Rubbing her eyes groggily she saw a shock of blond hair next to her.

"Rory? Are you alright? I've been talking to you for five minutes now and you've been completely out of it."

"I'm fine," she snapped, harsher than she meant to.

"Wow, someone's not feeling too sunny today. What's the matter? Did Paris go crazier than usual again?"

"No, I just was having...a day dream. That's all."

"Must have been a pretty damn good dream."

"It was," she replied simply.

He turned to look at her. "Is there something that you want to tell me?" he asked suspiciously.

"As a matter of fact – yes." Rory steeled herself for what she needed to say. "I went to Philadelphia while you were gone."

"Alright, I can understand your embarrassment. It's not the hippest place in the US, but hey, I'll forgive you."

"Logan, something happened there."

He eyed her intently. "Something or someone?"

"Someone," she answered quietly.

"Hmm." His face became blank.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what, Ace? What the hell happened while I was gone?"

"I went to see Jess."

He continued to stare at her a moment before realization washed over him. "That brooding writer that I met last year?"

She nodded.

"And you slept with him?"

"No. He kissed me, though."

Logan scoffed. "He kissed you? Well, did you kiss him back?"

She nodded again. "Yes."

He got up and turned away from her. "So, what does this mean?"

"I told him that I love you, but..."

He faced her again, his eyes downcast. "But, you love him, don't you?"

"Yes," she said in a small voice. "I'm sorry, Logan. I don't why I can't get over him – I mean, it's been _years_! But I just can't."

"Does he know this?"

Rory shook her head. "No."

"But you're gonna go back to him." It wasn't a question, it was a cold statement.

"Yes, I have to."

"Have to?"

"It's what I should have done years ago..." Rory stood and reached a hand out to Logan, but he snatched his arm away.

"You'll regret this, Ace."

She looked up at him through tear stained lashes. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

She grabbed her purse and coat and walked out of the apartment without another word. She dug through her bag fishing out the desired object. Her fingers flipped it open and she dialed with trembling fingers.

_Ring, ring, ring, ring..._

"Hello?" His deep voice answered and for a moment she was frozen speechless.

"Hello?" he repeated. After a moment's pause he asked uncertainly, "Rory, is that you?"

She finally found her voice. "How did you know it was me?"

She could almost hear his shrug. "Didn't. Just a hunch." Silence. "Is everything ok?"

Her sniffing carried over the phone. "Are you busy?"

"No. Are you coming?"

"Yes. I'm on my way."

"I'll be here."

"Jess?"

"What?" He was desperately trying to keep the elation at hearing from her out of his voice. It wouldn't do to let her know how much she affected him.

"I lied the other night – when I was there and told you that I loved him."

"Oh."

"I could never love anyone but you." She expeditiously snapped the phone shut after saying that, not giving him any time to respond. Her feet started moving and she made her way down to her car, got in and revved the engine. Pulling out of the parking lot, she headed toward the exit that would begin her on her journey back to Philadelphia...

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**Hey, this was just something that got lodged into my head and I had to get it out. Let me know if you liked it...meaning – review: ) That would be just grand.**


	2. Fair to Middlin'

**Sorry, it took so long for this update! Blaaa...hope you guys like it. (Loads of Jess, so how can you not?) Heehee.**

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_What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing!_

That voice of indecision and uncertainty keep mauling her brain with wild questions. 176 miles of worry and anxiety. A little under 3 and a half hours of her own internal interrogation.

_What if he rejects me now? What if he's decided that I'm not worth all of this bother? Oh, god! Mom's gonna freak! I'm talking worse than the day that the Bangles broke up – yeah, even worse than that!_

The blur of cars streaming past and the twirl of their lights were starting to get to her. She made a left at the corner and pulled into the parking lot of the book shop. Her mind was still honey frosted over their last kiss...and now she was returning to the scene of the crime. Jess was just up those stairs...26 stairs.

176 miles, 3 ½ hours, and 26 stairs away.

_What am I going to say?_

She didn't really remember parking her car, getting out, or even the walk up. All she knew was that she was standing at the door – the chunk of metal that could open or close the rest of her up and down, on and off again relationship with the boy that had always meant the most to her. The one that knew her the best. She inhaled a mammoth breath, lifted her fisted hand – _here it goes..._

"You're here."

"Yeah; I'm here."

Rory and Jess stood in the doorway of his apartment awkwardly.

"So – ya gonna come in?" Jess quirked a brow at her.

"Yes – yes, that would be nice." She fumbled with her words as he stepped away, allowing her entrance, shutting the door behind her.

He motioned for her to sit. She roved her gaze over everything but him, taking in his sparsely decorated living quarters. The walls were painted a dark blue, there were books strewn all over. The couch looked as though it had seen better days but it was very comfortable just the same. She cleared her throat.

"So, how are you?" Her voice broke in her nervous state.

"Good. Fine. Fair to Middlin'. And yourself?"

"Fine. You know, good." She nervously tucked a stray strip of hair back behind her ear.

Tension permeated the air as the silence became deafening.

"You gonna tell me why you're here?" His tone was chillier than intended.

Her eyes widened at him before she quickly snapped her head away. "Do you want me to leave?" she asked timidly.

"No." His reply was instant and firm. "I'm glad you're here. I'm just wondering, that's all."

"Oh, well, that makes sense. Wondering, I mean. If you had just shown up, I'd wonder to. I do wonder, you know. I wonder about you all of the time."

He couldn't suppress the slight upward twitch of his mouth at her patented babbling when she found herself in a nervous state. He missed that. He missed all sorts of things about this girl from his past.

"I wonder about you, too," he finally answered simply.

"You do?" she asked, bringing her doe eyes back to him.

He merely nodded, keeping his face guarded closely. He poured himself into her the past few times that they had met and he didn't want to risk that stabbing rejection again. Every time he put himself out there and she said no, it was like a chunk of him ripped off and died slowly.

"I just really needed to see you."

"Isn't idiot boy going to wonder where you are?" he paused for a split second before ruefully adding, "or is he out of town again?"

Her face fell as shame over their last meeting washed over her. "I left him."

There was a stretch of silence. "When?"

"Right before I called you."

He stared down at his carpet. "Was this because of me?"

"Because of you and other things. I felt something when you kissed me, Jess. Something that I should _not_ have felt again..." she waited till he turned his gaze back to her before she continued. "I shouldn't have felt it...but I'm glad that I did."

He kept his expression unreadable, not ready to believe her. "I can't keep playing this with you, Rory."

"You don't want me anymore?" her words were so tiny.

He closed his eyes and lolled his head back, resting it on the top of the couch. "Of course I still want you. I've wanted you since that first stupid dinner at your house with Luke."

She almost allowed herself to smile at this – almost. "I don't want to play games with you, Jess. I _hate_ those kind of games, I'm tired of them. I never got over you. I never stopped thinking of you. But I can't put myself in the position again to be the one who does all of the work. I can't and I won't do it, not again. This time you have to be there, too...you know, like actually talk to me about things."

"Hey, we've always talked...had some good book debates, remember?"

"Yeah..." she gave him a reminiscing smile, before slipping back into her serious mode. "You know what I mean, though."

He nodded. "I know."

"So, are we really going to do this?"

He stared at her a minute, not saying a thing. His forehead wrinkled and his brows furrowed as he gave her a hard look. "You sure this is what you want?"

It was her turn to nod. "Yes, I'm sure." Her eyes shot to the floor a moment before swiftly returning to him. "I mean, I'm as sure as I can be in this situation." She fidgeted with her hands, wringing each finger in turn. "Well – what do _you_ think?"

There was a silkiness to his usually intense stare. He let the silence drape around them for a good measure, just watching her; watching her vulnerability ooze out of her in waves. "I've needed you since I met you, Rory. You know that."

"I like to hear you say it." She looked up at him coyly.

A slow smirk spread over him and he leaned over, grazing her lips with his. Her eyes bulged in surprise before fluttering closed and relaxing. His arm reached out and pulled her tightly against him, causing her heart to go tipsy. He settled his hand over the small of her back, making her arch into him in response. Her hand shot up to his chest, pushing him away slightly.

He gazed at her through heavy lids. "I'm sorry – I'll stop?" he questioned thickly.

"Please don't," the corners of her mouth quirked up.

"I don't want to rush you into anything..." he muttered out of breath.

She shook her head. "You're not rushing me. I was just going to suggest moving this to the bedroom..." she grinned coquettishly.

He chuckled, shaking his head slightly. "Some things have changed, huh?"

Rory just flashed him an impish smile, grabbing him by the hand and pulling him up with her, waiting for him to lead the way.

Jess walked her over to his room, watching her the entire time. His face darkened suddenly and he let out a little sardonic laugh. "I wanted to be the one who gave you all your bedroom practice..."

She looked at him very seriously. "I wanted you to be, too."

"We've got a lot of making up to do," he husked, taking her into a bruising kiss.

She linked her arms around his neck. "Look forward to that –" she whispered.

He lightened his hard grip on her, holding her tenderly and kissing her fervently.

"Are you sure about this?" he asked her between nibbling on her neck, but he wasn't really listening; he was too busy with the sensation of her smooth skin. If she changed her mind now, he'd be in a world of hurt.

"You already asked that, and yes..." she murmured, her brain growing increasingly befuddled by the minute. She rubbed her fingers through his raven hued hair as he lifted her up and carried her over, lying her down on her back. He hovered over her a moment, studying her face closely. She opened her eyes and offered him an anxious grin. He quirked an eyebrow and smirked before he stripped them both of their cumbersome shirts, each resuming their fevered roaming of the other.

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**Here comes the part where you tell me how much you liked it...right? Maybe? Ok, at the least you could say it didn't suck cuz it has Jess and Rory...eh?**


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